I am a big fan of Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, a memoir of a mother with an unflinching look at her extreme parenting based on the “Chinese” way of raising super-kids. Though I don’t agree with most of Amy’s draconian ways of raising her two girls, I still found her book secretly admirable in parts, though flawed.
Tiger Babies Strike back is Kim Wong’s answer to Battle Hymn. It’s her own personal look at Chinese parenting and the toll it takes as well as her personal decision not to follow in the Chinese Tiger Mother footsteps. Her book is a humorous foray into Chinese-American culture as she shares her stories of growing up in San Francisco’s Chinatown Her message: “Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be robots.”
Kim has a rambling sort of way of writing. She jumps between history and culture lessons about the Chinese to first hand experiences from her childhood up to her parenting her own daughter. She shares all sorts of stories illustrating the damage done from such a harsh version of Chinese parenting and delves off into rabbit trails about other Chinese cultural bits and pieces with a playful and humorous style that is sometimes tinged with a cutting edge of bitterness.
Kim is sassy, astute and also unapologetic for the message behind her book. She says,
“Tiger Parents, you may be asking yourselves, “What is the point of this book?”
“Love your babies, and show your babies that you love them. Withholding your acceptance and praise while pushing your children into achievement might yield certain results, but that kind of pressure stifles other aspects of growing up.”
While I enjoyed getting to peek into the ever fascinating world of Chinese-American parenting, I never felt the book was completely coherent and totally focused on its message. Kim wanders all over the landscape of her upbringing, often popping into the present and delving deeper into the murkiness of history. She is funny, but sometimes I wasn’t totally sure of who her intended audience was. Was she speaking to all parents? Just Chinese-American parents? Tiger Moms? I felt like an outsider peeking into someone’s life with whatever message she was trying to convey slipping past me, a white woman of European ancestry, as I didn’t fit the mold of whomever she seemed to be speaking to, mainly (it appears) those caught between two cultures as she herself is.
Still, despite its faults, I enjoyed learning a great deal about Chinese-American culture and appreciated Kim’s crusade to persuade Tiger Mom’s to put away their claws when it comes to their children. Compared to Chua’s book I think it fell a little flat, but was still an enjoyable and worthwhile read for the cultural aspects.
*I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
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